I made this over a year ago.However, I think it continues to be relevant. I am sure many of you can relate.
Go away grief
Grief, you are the boyfriend I never asked for and the meal I didn’t order. You are the loud symbols in my silence always craving for my attention…You are edgy and sore as you prickle around my good times. You are the foggy window I look through and can never make clean. You are the colour red, filling me with anger every sitting we have together. You are the rickety wardrobe in Mum’s room housing Dad’s overcoat. The coat he wore to funerals with stitched seams, saturated in memories. You are the feast at a table where many are invited.
In some ways you are comforting like the mento sweets that Granny gave us. A chew on you adds happiness though tears fall as the mouth moves left to right. You don’t mean to be so neglectful and yet so needy, you take up shop wherever you can rest your head. A young widow’s front door, a Mother’s arms in the maternity ward, the seat beside an elderly soul in an old people’s home. You are as close as air to many of us.
I don’t resent you and your lingering, I just want peace from the noise, for a little while. The beeping of the heart monitor as it peaks and troughs- you are always tuned in. You add perspective like architecture and lightness like rain, when I’m in the mood to entertain you. I hate you like liquorice yet I need you like sugar. Your sweetness sticks to my teeth and brushes past my gums but it is all I have to remember the people the I miss.
Grief, for now perhaps stay close.