Words

“Seeing” dead people.

September 28, 2016

I spoke to my husband about how I *really* wanted to use this title even though it has perfect associations with the weird horror film ‘The sixth sense’ where a wee lad actually sees dead people.

It goes something like this…

“How often do you see them?
Cole Sear: “All the time. They’re everywhere. ”

What a skill set, eh?

Or like Mel Gibson in the movie ‘What women want’ where he hears what women think ALL THE TIME.  Sure you’d make a fortune.

I digress.

My point being that with a title like “Seeing dead people” you’d be forgiven for thinking I had paranormal abilities.

But I do not.

If you’re looking for ouija boards (a guy I fancied at the holiday camp site when I was 10 said he tried ouija board. Said he and his sister lifted off the floor. He also told me that he owned his own motorbike and had snogged twenty girls that Summer, so it’s fair to say he might be a liar), karma instincts and/or a deep rooted sense of ghosts you will, sadly, not find that here.

I am a complete scaredy cat if truth be told.

I grew up in the countryside and when I locked my pony’s “stable” (which was the old cattle pen within a big shed) I would sprint the one hundred metres across the yard to make sure I was clear of the dark, the leprechaun my uncle told me resided behind the big shed, or any kind of “bad men”.

This post is more about “seeing” my deceased Dad in the bodies and brains of my three children, my brother, and I guess, myself.

Three actual human beings came from my womb and reside in my household. They’re quite the blessing.

And absorb a chunk of my energy, time, body and mental wellbeing.

But in those moments of mayhem I see my dad.

As you will read here, my memories of my Dad are faint (read- blank) so I live off what others who knew him tell me.

Even still, there are physical elements which cannot be denied like his eye colour which my second born and I have. His hair colour which I have and I already see a tinge of in our five month old.

Also the furrowed brow my brother, my first born and I display often.

Then his personality traits.

Dad owned a business and go figure, my brother and I both own our businesses despite our Mother worrying her knickers off as the challenge that comes with self employment can be tough.

I watch my second boy store “moneys” that he finds around the house, on the floor of the grocery shop or at Granny’s in his pocket because he is “saving them up”. His own type of little business mind.

Dad had a warmth about him and a wicked sense of humour. Hopefully I can claim that. I definitely see it in my brother when he enters a room, even though he is much quieter and more of an introvert than I am.

Furthermore, Dad had a kind heart.

Our second boy used four pounds out of his money box last week to sponsor himself (!) for a fitness day in School. Thinking of others.

I like to think I share the sense of giving. I have this blog as a resource of information for my followers and want to encourage where possible.

Dad had time for people too.

I fall short at times in keeping up with all forms of communication and social media channels but when I was explaining to my new assistant about this, my main aim is to be “person centred”. This is something I learned from working with young people with learning difficulties. Putting a person’s needs before my own noting where I can best help. I’m still learning but the instinct is there.

Not everything of the fluffy personality traits made their way down the family tree. Self doubt, a short fuse, unrealistic perfectionism all trickled into us.

Having just fought the daily homework battle with my eldest who “can’t write it properly” or”I can’t spell ANYTHING” allows me an insight into my future.

I wonder do any of you see relatives in your babies and offspring? Maybe it’s your husband or wife, in which case it must be a whole other level from me “seeing” my Dad, my kid’s grand father, in them.

My Mum would say that the way my brother turns around is just like Dad. Do you find those exact replicas happen with you?

The gene pool is incredibly fascinating. Even how skin colour can be exactly the same.

My final thought on claiming it is possible to “see”dead people is simply that it’s pretty darn cool. We can take ownership of it.

 What a blessing it is to have someone’s memory live on in our very shoe size or eye colour.

 

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4 Comments

  • Reply Sheelagh Wright September 29, 2016 at 2:48 pm

    I love this. My granny used to say, “I’ll never be dead as long as you’re alive!” I look at Ella sometimes relating every detail of her day complete with hand gestures and impressions of everyone she has had contact with while we’ve been apart and think to myself, “Granny, neither of us will be dead as long as Ella’s alive!”

    • Reply Aly October 16, 2016 at 7:14 pm

      Sorry for the delay. That is a great line!! Totally true too, and what better women to be related to, to mirror and to resemble xxx

  • Reply Rosie September 29, 2016 at 6:45 pm

    Yes, my dad used to bang his hand off the edge of his armchair as we would be watching TV, it used to drive me mad as he didn’t even realise he was doing it…now when my eldest son is doing it I try not be be cross.

    I think that I’m like dad in ways, the union rep – the pta chairperson, both youth workers who can run a decent tuck shop, always a notebook and pencil to hand. Daddy could never pass a skip without having a look to see what treasure might be inside, I have found myself recently looking at junk and wondering how I could upcycle it! Character traits or learning from a great role model? Either way I was very lucky to have him.

    • Reply Aly October 16, 2016 at 7:13 pm

      So sorry for the delay. This is awesome and so beautiful to see these traits! ight down to the tuck shop- love that. Thank you for sharing x

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