Words

When Mother’s day changes…

March 6, 2016

I have a mailing list for my customers

and admitted recently that I am not good at plugging my art prints to extreme during the hallmark holidays.

I lost a few subscribers after this,

so maybe I was a bit hasty in my honesty about organic marketing.

However, my point was that I made sales and meaningful interactions with customers despite the need for me shouting “Buy this!”. ” You need this “. “Mum will love this “, Valentines day will be the best with this in your life”!

It just doesn’t sit well with me.

So I wanted to say that although this is airing on Mothering Sunday in the UK. It doesn’t mean

I am shouting about Mothering Sunday from the rooftops or placing any more importance on it than the normal importance I place on our “everyday” actions, words and places.

I am writing this post to/for those of you who are struggling on this day.

If you have dealt with the bereavement of losing your Mother or your baby/child or, indeed you are dealing with children having flown the nest and your life changes, today you will feel hurt. Deep down hurt.

Perhaps your partner is ill, has passed away or, you have parted ways and you’re flying solo which makes Mothers day just another rung in the ladder of non stop exhausting single parenting.

It is tough.

Since my Granny Edna (who this blog is named after and is in the photo above) died last month Mothers day has changed somewhat for me but mostly it has changed for my Mum.

Most of you know that my Dad passed away

when I was seven so Fathers day (which happens to be close to his birthday too) has never been high on my list of celebrations.

Yet I recognise that telling someone they are valued is so important.

What if that person is not here for you/us to tell them how important they are?

Below is my (unchartered) wisdom to try to ease a little of those heart aches and stomach flips you feel when days like Mothering Sunday approach.

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This is for you,

  1. Raid the photo cupboard and embrace the memories that flood back. You’re entitled to do so.
  2. Print recent photos and save one in your wallet or frame it for your kitchen. Recognise that figure, hear their voice in your head to keep the familiar alive.
  3. Know that it is potentially harder for you than it is for those we are without. For me, I see my faith plays a part in the loss factor during these events. If we believe our loved ones are in another world or another place and they are happy or at peace without earthly suffering, seek comfort in this.
  4. Take five minutes to play a song for them and for you. Maybe their favourite (my Granny’s was this which makes me well up every time), the one you used to listen to together or one that makes you smile with them in mind.
  5. Toast them with a cup of your best coffee or some prosecco. Keep their name in the conversation.
  6. If their absence is linked to grief where the hurt is rooted far below the surface, know that it will ease over time. I have more on grief here.
  7. Try to replace potential bitterness on hallmark holidays with joy. See this time for reflection as the best medicine and an excuse to indulge in time away and a little selfishness as you remember the sweeter times.

As with most of my posts, these points are not rocket science but may you know love and peace during this 24 hours of commercial mayhem.

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2 Comments

  • Reply Judith O'Hagan March 6, 2016 at 2:05 pm

    Going home to print photos and have tea (don’t think Nana would approve of Prosecco!)

    • Reply Aly March 10, 2016 at 7:38 am

      Haha yes you’re right!! Love you cous

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