I would like to invite you to imagine you are sitting in a restaurant, listening in on two people at the next table chatting, and the conversation going like this;
“I really want to do this”
“Shut up, you could never do that”
“But this is what I’ve always wanted to do”
“Well you are not! Don’t dare embarrass me by trying to achieve this goal, this dream. You will fail miserably, and people will laugh, and as for being a great parent just remember when you shouted at that poor child last week, and as a wife .. pfft .. you haven’t even cooked a decent meal in weeks”
“I know, but I’m just so tired and really feel like I’m failing at all of this”
“Yes .. yes you are so just stop thinking about these ridiculous ideas, keep your mouth shut because no one wants to listen to your constant moaning about how you feel. No one is interested”
Would you be horrified, would you think “woah what a rubbish friend”, would you step in and say something? But what if this restaurant is the inside of your own mind? And the people at the table are you and your thoughts? How many times have you talked yourself out of something, or convinced yourself you are not good enough, not smart enough, not capable enough?
You see that’s the thing when you have compromised Mental Health you allow your experiences, decisions, beliefs and comments from others going all the way back to childhood to hijack your life for the rest of your life if you let it …
that is unless you make the decision to stand up to the internal critic and change how you think. Great idea huh? Not so easy to do, anyone who has ever tried to silence the critic within will know it simply gets louder and more interfering sometimes restricting your life to the point of feeling trapped and unable to live a fulfilling life.
What if you could make friends with the internal critic, in fact what if you could be best friends with the internal critic?
Good news is you can and its starts with believing you own that critic and you have the power to convince them, simply by offering the exact opposite thought.
Now introduce your inner critic to a set of scales, visualise them in your own mind and allow the critic to say and think whatever it wants then visualise the exact opposite to bring balance to the scales, for every ying there’s a yang, so imagine typing into google
“Why am I so unhappy” or “Why can’t I do this” google will give you pages and pages of answers to back up this view, right. Well think of your mind in the same way.
Now what would happen if you typed in “What if I was super happy” or “Why am I so great at this” Yip you guessed it you would get pages and pages of answers to support this belief.
Mental Strength comes from exercising the mind muscle, people always say “Aucht sure what’s the worst that can happen” but what if you were to think “What the best that could happen” you just never know what difference it will make unless you try.
Mental Health is what you make it, take a moment time every day to focus on your breath and to check in with you, yourself and be honest, making friends with yourself will be the most advantageous friendship you will ever have, no one know more about you than you so be kind and remember every decision you’ve made has been the right decision for you at that time, otherwise you would have chosen something else, the one thing you always have is choice. And always remember the words of Dr Seuss.
“Today you are you, this is truer than true, there is no one alive who is youer than you”
The most important thing is we all have one thing in common, and this is we are unique. So, celebrate your quirks, kinks and weirdness because you are the only one who knows the best way to be you.
You can find Vivian at hydro ease ( I can’t wait to try this experience!) or wellness consultant NI. Thanks for your words and passion about self care and helping ourselves to feel confident in who we are.